The more children are spanked, the more likely they will be abusive toward their own children. Husbands who grew up in severely violent homes are six times more likely to beat their wives than men raised in non-violent homes. Hitting devalues the parent-child relationship. Hope this article will help you understand the practices that you should never follow to discipline your child. They may also isolate themselves from you slowly. They are more likely to rebel against corporal punishment than against other disciplinary techniques. So, if you discipline your child and teach him what is right and wrong then your child will grow up to respect authority, rules, and the like. It creates a distance between parent and child, and it contributes to a violent society. One moment, they may get happy over a small thing, and the next moment, they may throw a tantrum for no reason. She would notice him playing alone in the corner, not interested in playmates, and avoiding eye contact with her. If you threaten your kid, he will be under the constant fear of consequences of his actions. Negative Discipline Methods That Parents Must Avoid, Positive Discipline Techniques for Children, Sexual Performance Anxiety – Causes, Symptoms and How to Overcome It. 2. Since your children will grow up to emulate your actions, it would be wise to do what you want them to. These researchers found that for uninhibited children, self-esteem suffers and guilt and lack of empathy might result. Laws Regarding Discipline Versus Abuse. Parents who spank or swat their kids often believe it won’t hurt them. Parents who examine their feelings after spanking often realize that all they have accomplished is to relieve themselves of anger. For more information on this topic, read The Discipline Book: How to Have a Better-Behaved Child From Birth to Age Ten, Visit our website for more information on Discipline. Physical abuse of any kind not only causes physical hurt and trauma to a child but it also affects the child emotionally. However, these areas are fairly sensitive and hard strikes can cause serious injury. Some of the methods that you must avoid to save your child from the negative effects of discipline include: You should not shout at your child because when you shout at your little one, he may not be able to understand what you want from him or what you intend him to do. You hit the hand harder. He had lost his previous sparkle. However, using wrong means like adopting negative ways of disciplining is not considered a healthy practice and may harm the child physically and emotionally. Your use of this site indicates your agreement to be bound by the Terms of Use. Parents should never adopt negative or stringent ways to discipline their kid. A survey of 679 college students showed that those who recall being spanked as children accepted spanking as a way of discipline and intended to spank their own children. This Is What Happens When You Hit Your Kids Physically disciplining children has dramatic impact on both parent and child. 23:13-14), “The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to itself disgraces his mother.” (Prov. Studies show that children from spanking families are more likely to use aggression to handle conflicts when they become adults. I grew up in a very nurturing home, but I was occasionally and “deservedly” spanked. Make sure your behavior is role-model material. Unreasonable commanding parenting style may make your child feel suffocated and helpless. Parents who rely on punishment as their primary mode of discipline don’t grow in their knowledge of their child. He or she also believes the older the child becomes the less he or she needs a spanking, and other forms of discipline take its place. This brings up the main reason why some parents lean toward spanking—it’s easier. When punishment humiliates children they either rebel or withdraw. It rings true in every instance. You can have many great ideas, but if it’s not a good match for you to do them well, then you may need to look at simpler options. Parents who spank-control or otherwise abusively punish their children often feel devalued themselves because deep down they don’t feel right about their way of discipline. Punishment escalates. Punishing outside the scope of a specific behavior does not ease guilt and can make a child feel worse. 6. Better to separate the child from the object or supervise his exploration and leave little hands unhurt. People are more likely to recall traumatic events than pleasant ones. Posted Sep 19, 2014 All parents wish to inculcate and imbibe good habits and virtues in their children. In the past fifty years in pediatric practice, we have observed thousands of families who have tried spanking and found it doesn’t work. Taking Naproxen While Breastfeeding – Is It Safe? One of the reasons for the ineffectiveness of spanking in creating internal controls is that during and immediately after the spanking, the child is so preoccupied with the perceived injustice of the physical punishment (or maybe the degree of it he’s getting) that he “forgets” the reason for which he was spanked. (“Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” – Psalm 23:4). Spanking caused less aggression if it was done in an overall nurturing environment and the child was always given a rational explanation of why the spanking occurred. You’ve begun a game no one can win. We want the child to know that he did wrong, and to feel remorse, but to still believe that he is a person who has value. It’s amazing how the unpleasant memories of spankings can block out those positive memories. Spanking undermines this principle. You should not use abusive words or language for your child. How to control one’s angry impulses (swat control) is one of the things you are trying to teach your children. Don’t use the Bible as an excuse to spank. Everything we say about physical punishment pertains to emotional/verbal punishment as well. Their children, in turn, often believed spanking was an appropriate disciplinary method. setTimeout("__gaTracker('send', 'event', 'Reading', '45 seconds')", 45000); © 2020 All Rights Reserved. When one group of toddlers tried to grab a forbidden object, they received a slap on the hand; the other group of toddlers did not receive physical punishment. This way your child may find it hard to trust or believe you. It is imperative to teach the value of discipline to a growing child, but not at the cost of being harsh on him. Since spanking is not an option, we have been forced to come up with better alternatives. Disciplining a child is a necessary part of parenthood. Not only does the child lose respect for the parent, but the parents also lose out because they develop a spanking mindset and have fewer alternatives to spanking. While Christians and Jews believe that the Old Testament is the inspired word of God, it is also a historical text that has been interpreted in many ways over the centuries, sometimes incorrectly in order to support the beliefs of the times. A study of the effects of physical punishment on children’s later aggressive behavior showed that the more frequently a child was given physical punishment, the more likely it was that he would behave aggressively toward other family members and peers. 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